Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Been awhile
It has been a crazy time, but hey when is life not. It has been over a year since my surgery and things are going tons better. I still have some delay with my right leg and foot, but it is slowly getting better. I will try to update more often, but for tonight this is it.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Ice
Last night we got a little ice storm with all the good stuff of freezing rain and sleet. I got up this morning and my car was covered in about an inch of ice. My boss called me last night and told me that we weren't going to open the center until 10 am so that was good. Unfortunately in my condition me and ice don't get along to well. If I slip on that I wouldn't be able to control my fall. My temporary paralysis was enough I don't want to have that on a full time basis. I could think of other scenarios however I prefer to stay away from the "What if's?" today. So in the eyes of safety I decided it would be best for me to stay home. The risk is not worth the reward. Plus I have to go over 9 bridges to work and another 9 back. I don't trust Texas driver's on icy bridges they have a tendency to stop and cause pile-ups. It was nice for me to stay home plus my mom and dad who have already worried so much didn't need this added on.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
A new year...
It is the beginning of 2009 and I am having such a blast with my life. I am seizing the moments that make my world go round. I have been hanging out with my girls lately, playing games and just having fun. I haven't dared to step out on a dance floor yet(maybe a month or two to come). My friends are very understanding and always want to make sure that I have a good time. We haven't tried bowling and I have no desire to test my strength in that yet. I am sorry that it has almost been a month since my last entry, but when life takes the reins, sometimes you just have to hold on and enjoy the ride.
I started a new schedule at work that is Monday thru Friday 630am to 3pm. It is a big switch from working midnights for 5 and a half years, but it is a great change. I get a chance to see the sun rise and set and that is pretty cool. It is also pretty weird going to bed between 8-9. My whole attitude for work has improved as well my numbers are rocking since I switched.
I am going back to the gym this week since all the family has left and it is not as crazy. I have gotten my right foot flexing a little more each day. I also went all last week at work without my walker. My co-workers were extremely happy to see my progress.
I have also learned that if you want the best in life you have to fight for it. I don't think if it falls in your lap you have the same respect for it. Don't get me wrong it is nice to have blessings and be able to see that that is what they are. I got to see thru this triumph how the little things in life matter. In my last entry I told you about my ten commandments as I call them, but before I started writing this one I read over them again. I still get the opportunities to impress myself with how simple things really are. It wasn't rocket science and for so long I always made it out to be. This has been a life changing and revealing time. I have been able to see myself thru other's eyes as well as my own. I am not trying to sound like a broken record, but I love how this surgery has made me a better person.
I have a funny story about one of my shopping excursions to Wal-Mart. As my friend and I are walking in we go to get one of the scooters. There was one left and this young guy takes it. He was probably about my age maybe younger. Almost instantly my friend is angered looks over at me and states, "This guy is walking around just fine what does he need the scooter for?" I looked at her and said, "He might have a bad back, hurt his knee or is recovering from a surgery and he can't walk long distances." She said, "I never thought about that." Then we start walking around the store and one of the clerks tells me that a scooter is available and if I wanted it. So I get the scooter and we are finishing up our shopping. We pass by these two women, and my friend is behind me with the cart with my walker in it. As I pass these two ladies they roll their eyes and make an over dramatic sigh. My friend follows after me and then tells me what happened and is furious. She asked me if that happened a lot. I told her that if it does I really don't notice it. Most people ask me why since I am young and in all aspects should be in great health. I told her that all it is is ignorance and reminded her of the guy in the scooter when we first walked in. She stopped in her tracks and said you are right. My point of the story is that you really never know some one's circumstances unless you ask, never assume. (you know the old adage off of that word) Plus what right do I have about judging some one else's pain or suffering. All I can judge is my own. My only pet peeve is people who don't have the stickers or the permission to park in the handicapped spots that do. There is a reason those are there. I was out one night at a restaurant and they had eight in the front of the building and the first four were taken. As I drove past NONE of them had a placard or a notification on their license plate. It was extremely upsetting however the cops patrol the area quite frequently and I have no worries. Karma does work and does come around.
Well, it is late and I need to go to bed. I hope yall have a great day and until keyboard and fingers meet again so long my friends! :)
I started a new schedule at work that is Monday thru Friday 630am to 3pm. It is a big switch from working midnights for 5 and a half years, but it is a great change. I get a chance to see the sun rise and set and that is pretty cool. It is also pretty weird going to bed between 8-9. My whole attitude for work has improved as well my numbers are rocking since I switched.
I am going back to the gym this week since all the family has left and it is not as crazy. I have gotten my right foot flexing a little more each day. I also went all last week at work without my walker. My co-workers were extremely happy to see my progress.
I have also learned that if you want the best in life you have to fight for it. I don't think if it falls in your lap you have the same respect for it. Don't get me wrong it is nice to have blessings and be able to see that that is what they are. I got to see thru this triumph how the little things in life matter. In my last entry I told you about my ten commandments as I call them, but before I started writing this one I read over them again. I still get the opportunities to impress myself with how simple things really are. It wasn't rocket science and for so long I always made it out to be. This has been a life changing and revealing time. I have been able to see myself thru other's eyes as well as my own. I am not trying to sound like a broken record, but I love how this surgery has made me a better person.
I have a funny story about one of my shopping excursions to Wal-Mart. As my friend and I are walking in we go to get one of the scooters. There was one left and this young guy takes it. He was probably about my age maybe younger. Almost instantly my friend is angered looks over at me and states, "This guy is walking around just fine what does he need the scooter for?" I looked at her and said, "He might have a bad back, hurt his knee or is recovering from a surgery and he can't walk long distances." She said, "I never thought about that." Then we start walking around the store and one of the clerks tells me that a scooter is available and if I wanted it. So I get the scooter and we are finishing up our shopping. We pass by these two women, and my friend is behind me with the cart with my walker in it. As I pass these two ladies they roll their eyes and make an over dramatic sigh. My friend follows after me and then tells me what happened and is furious. She asked me if that happened a lot. I told her that if it does I really don't notice it. Most people ask me why since I am young and in all aspects should be in great health. I told her that all it is is ignorance and reminded her of the guy in the scooter when we first walked in. She stopped in her tracks and said you are right. My point of the story is that you really never know some one's circumstances unless you ask, never assume. (you know the old adage off of that word) Plus what right do I have about judging some one else's pain or suffering. All I can judge is my own. My only pet peeve is people who don't have the stickers or the permission to park in the handicapped spots that do. There is a reason those are there. I was out one night at a restaurant and they had eight in the front of the building and the first four were taken. As I drove past NONE of them had a placard or a notification on their license plate. It was extremely upsetting however the cops patrol the area quite frequently and I have no worries. Karma does work and does come around.
Well, it is late and I need to go to bed. I hope yall have a great day and until keyboard and fingers meet again so long my friends! :)
Friday, December 26, 2008
Whirlwind...
For starters happy holidays to all who enjoy reading my entries. I guess I have learned that my life is not going to slow down especially since I can walk around a lot more and a lot faster. Also, I don't think that it is in my genes to slow down either. A big person of making pros and con's lists' I seem to find out lately that the pros seem to win out 99% of the time. It can be very exhausting. However being the undeterred individual that I am, I am enjoying all the little blessings and craziness that has stemmed my way.
It has been 7 looong months since my life changing surgery and for that I am truly grateful. I now know how to cherish every part of every day through the good and the bad. I do get my daily dose of good and bad, but as selfish as I can be I now realize that I am not that special(everybody has them just different circumstances). I guess sometimes it takes a stiff kick in the rear to actually see how you can better yourself and how to go about it. These have been my lessons.
1. No matter who you are there is ALWAYS someone in a worse situation than you!
2. Be grateful for what you have because it could be gone in a minute.
3. Cherish your loved ones because in times of struggle they will have your back.
4. If there is an opportunity for you to help someone else SEIZE IT! Because in that moment, through that act of kindness you could change someone's day or life, and it just might be your own.
5. Always look at the glass as being half full because more things are possible when you have optimism.
6. Take on something that you don't think that you can do, you will amaze yourself when you complete it.
7. Always remember to keep a smile on your face even if you are having a bad day think of a happy thought and it can change the rest of your day.
8. Never be afraid of laughing at yourself and ALWAYS find humor in life. "Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred" -Pico Iyer
9. Never give up!
10. Never give into fear or it will take over your life.
In my own way these are like my ten commandments. After all that I have seen, felt and went through in the past 7+ months these 10 things are critical to my survival. I don't think that I could ever stress enough how much this has tested my faith, courage and love for another human being. Life goes on it is as simple as that. With out the love and support that I received through this whole ordeal I wouldn't be here writing down this story. If I had let my fear take the wheel I sure as heck would still be lying in a hospital bed having to press a call button to get turned every 4-6 hours. I have also learned that you don't have to always do something with grace, because when you are in the trenches of your life struggles it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is making it to the other side as unscathed as you possibly can. I was told once after telling my story of this last year that I gave someone hope. It stopped me for a second because I didn't know how to respond and it is a humbling moment as well. In prior entries you know I have a saying there is always a catch. I looked back at her and told her that she gave me hope to for the struggles that she was going through too. In her mind they were minimal to mine, but in my eyes they were pretty bad. It is all about perspective, hence number 1.
I realized that I get to be grateful everyday for my little blessings if I take the time to see that they are there. My family is the greatest gift that I could have ever gotten. I may still have to use a walker for long distances, but I have a bounce in my step. For the first time in a long time I get to work on me and she the changes not just in the mirror, but in my attitude as well. I know now that NOTHING is impossible!
I am not young and by no means am I old. I have gotten to see quite a few things in my 28 years on this earth(my bday is in 2 days)(sweeet!) and I don't have any regrets. I have had my struggles and my triumphs, and through those I got a life that I cherish. Today I get to see my little victories that make each day a new adventure. I still remember the day when the neurologist came into my room and told me that there was a high probability that I may never walk again, and yet here I am walking around without a walker most of the time. Thankfully it didn't happen overnight and I had to work for it which made the rewards so much better.
I also meant to add that a loved one isn't always family by blood, it can be friends that have turned into family. I have two people that have been such pillars of strength through this that they have turned into family. They went from being just a friend to a brother and a sister that no matter what I can always count on. For a person who hasn't had a friend to last longer than a couple of years this is a blessing in itself.
I guess what I am trying to say is that take a moment to look around you and see the blessings that you have. You may not find thousands, but I can guarantee that you will find one and one is what you have to write down first before adding the rest of the zeroes!
Thank you for putting up with my long winded details of my life. To all the people who read this and get something out of this "I love you and thank you for all your support!" Have a great rest of your holidays.
It has been 7 looong months since my life changing surgery and for that I am truly grateful. I now know how to cherish every part of every day through the good and the bad. I do get my daily dose of good and bad, but as selfish as I can be I now realize that I am not that special(everybody has them just different circumstances). I guess sometimes it takes a stiff kick in the rear to actually see how you can better yourself and how to go about it. These have been my lessons.
1. No matter who you are there is ALWAYS someone in a worse situation than you!
2. Be grateful for what you have because it could be gone in a minute.
3. Cherish your loved ones because in times of struggle they will have your back.
4. If there is an opportunity for you to help someone else SEIZE IT! Because in that moment, through that act of kindness you could change someone's day or life, and it just might be your own.
5. Always look at the glass as being half full because more things are possible when you have optimism.
6. Take on something that you don't think that you can do, you will amaze yourself when you complete it.
7. Always remember to keep a smile on your face even if you are having a bad day think of a happy thought and it can change the rest of your day.
8. Never be afraid of laughing at yourself and ALWAYS find humor in life. "Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred" -Pico Iyer
9. Never give up!
10. Never give into fear or it will take over your life.
In my own way these are like my ten commandments. After all that I have seen, felt and went through in the past 7+ months these 10 things are critical to my survival. I don't think that I could ever stress enough how much this has tested my faith, courage and love for another human being. Life goes on it is as simple as that. With out the love and support that I received through this whole ordeal I wouldn't be here writing down this story. If I had let my fear take the wheel I sure as heck would still be lying in a hospital bed having to press a call button to get turned every 4-6 hours. I have also learned that you don't have to always do something with grace, because when you are in the trenches of your life struggles it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is making it to the other side as unscathed as you possibly can. I was told once after telling my story of this last year that I gave someone hope. It stopped me for a second because I didn't know how to respond and it is a humbling moment as well. In prior entries you know I have a saying there is always a catch. I looked back at her and told her that she gave me hope to for the struggles that she was going through too. In her mind they were minimal to mine, but in my eyes they were pretty bad. It is all about perspective, hence number 1.
I realized that I get to be grateful everyday for my little blessings if I take the time to see that they are there. My family is the greatest gift that I could have ever gotten. I may still have to use a walker for long distances, but I have a bounce in my step. For the first time in a long time I get to work on me and she the changes not just in the mirror, but in my attitude as well. I know now that NOTHING is impossible!
I am not young and by no means am I old. I have gotten to see quite a few things in my 28 years on this earth(my bday is in 2 days)(sweeet!) and I don't have any regrets. I have had my struggles and my triumphs, and through those I got a life that I cherish. Today I get to see my little victories that make each day a new adventure. I still remember the day when the neurologist came into my room and told me that there was a high probability that I may never walk again, and yet here I am walking around without a walker most of the time. Thankfully it didn't happen overnight and I had to work for it which made the rewards so much better.
I also meant to add that a loved one isn't always family by blood, it can be friends that have turned into family. I have two people that have been such pillars of strength through this that they have turned into family. They went from being just a friend to a brother and a sister that no matter what I can always count on. For a person who hasn't had a friend to last longer than a couple of years this is a blessing in itself.
I guess what I am trying to say is that take a moment to look around you and see the blessings that you have. You may not find thousands, but I can guarantee that you will find one and one is what you have to write down first before adding the rest of the zeroes!
Thank you for putting up with my long winded details of my life. To all the people who read this and get something out of this "I love you and thank you for all your support!" Have a great rest of your holidays.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The pain is dwindling
Well, I am having plenty of pain free days and am not even getting sore a lot of days too. This surgery was such a blessing I am so grateful that I had it everyday. I had a few bad days this week, but that was do to a fall and I think I twisted my ankle, but since the feeling hasn't entirely come back I'm not able to tell for sure. I just know that it hurt to walk on and that in turn worked its way up since I was off kilter. It is better now though. It is great to finally be able to go through a day and not be doubled over in pain. I am seriously questioning if they worked on my thyroid during my surgery because I keep losing weight. I am almost two pant sizes down and a shirt size. I never thought that I would feel this great. Well, I am getting tired and have to run some errands before work so nite-nite.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Wow
I'm still going on a crazy pace hopefully all will slow down soon enough. More than likely after the holidays. This weekend I was hanging out with my friend and her daughter and I ran into one of the therapists from the rehab hospital. When she saw me she said "OH MY GOD YOU ARE WALKING!" well if I needed a little boost in my ego that sure did do the trick. I do have my moments where I can't see how far I have come. Little run ins like that keep my spirit gung ho about getting back to full Marcie.
I still have my moments of fear though few and far between they show their heads. Which is still great having fear keeps you human. I'm currently scared to go to sleep that when I open my eyes I will wake up back in one of those places again and this all will be a dream. If I feel it coming about before I go to bed I usually just say a quick prayer and I am good to go. Thank God I have a checks and balances system so my right and left brain can quit arguing. Life is too short to constantly second guess yourself. By the way I only use my walker at work how wonderful is that. Hugs and kisses!!!!
I still have my moments of fear though few and far between they show their heads. Which is still great having fear keeps you human. I'm currently scared to go to sleep that when I open my eyes I will wake up back in one of those places again and this all will be a dream. If I feel it coming about before I go to bed I usually just say a quick prayer and I am good to go. Thank God I have a checks and balances system so my right and left brain can quit arguing. Life is too short to constantly second guess yourself. By the way I only use my walker at work how wonderful is that. Hugs and kisses!!!!
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Long time gone.....
I am so sorry for you avid readers that it has been a long time since my last blog. I got really busy with family coming into town, working full time and making my nephew laugh.(the joy of life) Things have been going so well that I sometimes forget to tell about the good and not just the bad. I still get humbled every day and a good dose of gratitude. I am so happy that I was able to spend time with my family while they were here and not be in any pain. My family could tell the big difference in my attitude and my weight loss. I am almost 2 pant sizes down and between 30-40 pounds. I think that I am not exercising that much, but I am constantly walking around and my energy level has shot through the roof.
I have found new ways to curb my depression moments. If you have never seen Jeff Dunham you need to check him out he will crack you up. Go to jeffdunham.com. It is awesome.
Well, it is getting late and these 40 hour weeks are kicking my butt. Goodnight and have a great rest of the week!
I have found new ways to curb my depression moments. If you have never seen Jeff Dunham you need to check him out he will crack you up. Go to jeffdunham.com. It is awesome.
Well, it is getting late and these 40 hour weeks are kicking my butt. Goodnight and have a great rest of the week!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Swimming
Well, I got to go swimming today and it was awesome! I am worn out and tired, but it is so worth it. I swam 500 meters. It was no small feet. I remember doing 500's as a warm up, but that not being the sole exercise. I think that it is funny that I can swim 500 meters, but I can't walk that far. I think that it's funny. One of the really good things about the pool is that it is salt water and not chlorine. My legs feel wonderful. It was great to work them out without all the topside pressure. Plus it loosened my back muscles which have been getting tight lately and I am not able to get a massage yet. I am trying to get my endurance up for the little guy that is going to be here in less than a month. Well, I am pooped and my eyelids are getting heavy, yea sleep without medication. Great times. Love y'all!
Friday, September 19, 2008
Interesting
I know that I am not blogging everyday, but I am getting back on my feet again with work and driving more. It leaves me a little worn out at the end of the day. I have been having so many good days lately that I am truly exhausted when I get home and once my head hits the pillow I am out like a fat kid in dodge ball. I don't think that I would have ever thought that my life would turn out this way. I am grateful that it did because even with all the bad things that have happened I would not have had all the good that came with it. You can only smile once you shed some tears. I guess that much of this has to do with perspective. It is always different from the outside looking in than from the inside looking out. This is the first time that I have been completely open with all around me and there is a freedom that comes from that vulnerability. It was hard at first, but now it just seems normal. I guess that since I am being productive (back at work) it is easier to let the bad days go to the wayside, because I don't have the feeling of isolation. Even though during this time I was able to see my friends and get out of the house I still had to work harder to get rid of the bad feelings. I still look at the glass as being half full, however I do have a bad moment every now and again I just have more power to push it away. I am walking more and more without my walker and my balance has increased tenfold. My difficulties now go to the fact of, "What should I wear?" and "I can't believe this fits!". I know that my supporters are glad to hear this turn of events. I have definitely got to get my strength up so that I can run around with my nephew. My plan is to be walking unassisted by the middle of October. I may even be able to go see my doctor on the 9th and not have to use my walker. Wouldn't that be amazing.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Full week....
I am normal again!!!!! I finished my first week back to work. It was awesome. I still can't believe how far I have come in these past couple months. I am definitely enjoying the ride now. It took tons of hard work and support to get here.
I know I have said this before, but it needs to be said as many times as I can. My family and friends have really stepped up to the plate to help me through this tumultuous recovery. My mom and dad are my everyday heroes. I know that I have told y'all that my mom was with me everyday and that was so wonderful that I have a mom that will stand by my side through thick and thin. My dad may not have been geographically available, but phone lines work wonders. I talked to him for at least a half hour a day and multiple times at that. He is my jester.(not the funny costume way, but it wouldn't surprise me if I needed a laugh) Even if I called him with some bad news by the time the call was ending I was laughing my ass off. They have supported me through this endeavor hole heartily. I could never have created better parents then the ones that I have. One day when I have the joy of having kids I hope that I can be as good as they have been for me. It is wonderful that I have the opportunity to watch them as grandparents with my nephew. My dad gets him to make this laugh that just makes you fall over laughing. When my mom holds him and he doesn't want to let go. (him puking on her face was priceless though). (sorry mom) The love that they have shown shines through everyone they come in contact with. They are the people that you want to have as part of your life, even if it is just for a moment. I am the person I am today because of them.
If you love someone let them know it just might make their day. It helped get my feet on the ground and start walking and it gave me plenty of hope for the future. Love to all and have a great day.
I know I have said this before, but it needs to be said as many times as I can. My family and friends have really stepped up to the plate to help me through this tumultuous recovery. My mom and dad are my everyday heroes. I know that I have told y'all that my mom was with me everyday and that was so wonderful that I have a mom that will stand by my side through thick and thin. My dad may not have been geographically available, but phone lines work wonders. I talked to him for at least a half hour a day and multiple times at that. He is my jester.(not the funny costume way, but it wouldn't surprise me if I needed a laugh) Even if I called him with some bad news by the time the call was ending I was laughing my ass off. They have supported me through this endeavor hole heartily. I could never have created better parents then the ones that I have. One day when I have the joy of having kids I hope that I can be as good as they have been for me. It is wonderful that I have the opportunity to watch them as grandparents with my nephew. My dad gets him to make this laugh that just makes you fall over laughing. When my mom holds him and he doesn't want to let go. (him puking on her face was priceless though). (sorry mom) The love that they have shown shines through everyone they come in contact with. They are the people that you want to have as part of your life, even if it is just for a moment. I am the person I am today because of them.
If you love someone let them know it just might make their day. It helped get my feet on the ground and start walking and it gave me plenty of hope for the future. Love to all and have a great day.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Work...
Well, I have been at work for almost a full week now. Talk about being a productive member of society again. It feels so good to actually earn a paycheck. Normal life is coming back slowly, but surely. I have been tired after work that is why I haven't been writing as much. I forgot how tiring it is. I found out today that the community college down the road has open swim time from 11am to 3pm which is before I have to go to work. The reason I mention this is because they have a handicap entrance into the water and lifeguards on duty as well. Not saying that anything will happen, but since I haven't done any unsupervised working out I think for my first couple tries I should have someone to watch over me. I will try to go this weekend weather permitting. This way I can loosen up my leg muscles and strengthen them at the same time. Plus I can work on my balance and build up my endurance. Things are going so good right now, it is always good to see yourself taking steps in the right direction. (pun intended)
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
First Day
Well, today was my first day back at work. I was a little anxious about going back, but I was away for four months. It went really well. I got to see a lot of my friends from work and got updated on what has gone on. It was raining on my way there so that added a little sweat on my forehead, oh and there was traffic too. I made all in one piece and home just the same.
On my recovery I am using the walker less and less. I don't use it at all at the house and I walked to the car today without my walker. Yeah! When I got home I took the walker out of the car and left it folded and walker to the front door. It has been a fruitful day on all ends plus I am extremely tired so I am gonna call it a night.
On my recovery I am using the walker less and less. I don't use it at all at the house and I walked to the car today without my walker. Yeah! When I got home I took the walker out of the car and left it folded and walker to the front door. It has been a fruitful day on all ends plus I am extremely tired so I am gonna call it a night.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Nice people
I went to get groceries today and got to ride around in the little scooter. Fun times. It still amazes me the kindness of strangers. People offered to get me stuff off the high shelves, but the coolest part was when I got out to the car and this woman was walking up and she asked if I needed any help and I said no, but she insisted anyway. She unloaded all the groceries into the trunk of my car. I am still shocked that there are good people still in this world. She asked me what happened and I told her then she asked if I prayed. It blew me away, but before I could think of a response I blurted out that I did.(it's true) Then as she was leaving she told me that we are all in God's hands and that all we have to do is pray. Talk about hitting the nail on the head. Then on the way home still having that phrase running through my head a song comes on and the line that stood out was " You can only smile until you have shed some tears". It has definitely been a day of good thoughts and gratitude. It gave me a little time to think of how great that I have it even with all that is going on I am still blessed.
When I got home I unloaded all the food by myself.(sweet) Then I started to cook. I made chile rellenos and Mexican rice plus two cookie sheets worth of sausage rolls for breakfast. Man was it good. I was starting to get tired and hot(oven's tend to do that) thankfully I had a stool in the kitchen cause I lost my balance and started to fall. I'm glad that I did all that upper body work and that I have quick reflexes when it comes to my arms and hands. I grabbed the stool and steadied myself luckily I had just put down the cookie sheet. After that nice little moment I said to myself (since I was alone it was out loud) maybe I should sit down. To the table I went and rested for a minute while the rice finished. Good thing that things need time to cook. Once the timer went off I got up again and was able to function. By the way I did all this and unloading the car without my walker. I was right by the front door so it wasn't a long walk, but hey still no falls. Yeah buddy! I am starting to see more improvements and know that I am getting better. It still sucks that it is taking longer than I hoped, but hey things don't always happen in my time frame. At least I know at the end of the day that I am getting better slowly, but surely. I still remember when the neurologist came into my room and said that there was a high possibility that I would never walk again. When I get down about how slow this seems to be going I still go back to that hospital bed and think, "Wow I have made it this far!" Even if I have a bad day and write about it don't think that I am as upset as it seems. I just need to get those thoughts out so the good one's don't get pushed out.
When you are going through a rough patch and I have had my share I learned from a quote that,"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!" Sometimes it just takes a little time for the good things in life to arrive, but at least I know that they will.
When I got home I unloaded all the food by myself.(sweet) Then I started to cook. I made chile rellenos and Mexican rice plus two cookie sheets worth of sausage rolls for breakfast. Man was it good. I was starting to get tired and hot(oven's tend to do that) thankfully I had a stool in the kitchen cause I lost my balance and started to fall. I'm glad that I did all that upper body work and that I have quick reflexes when it comes to my arms and hands. I grabbed the stool and steadied myself luckily I had just put down the cookie sheet. After that nice little moment I said to myself (since I was alone it was out loud) maybe I should sit down. To the table I went and rested for a minute while the rice finished. Good thing that things need time to cook. Once the timer went off I got up again and was able to function. By the way I did all this and unloading the car without my walker. I was right by the front door so it wasn't a long walk, but hey still no falls. Yeah buddy! I am starting to see more improvements and know that I am getting better. It still sucks that it is taking longer than I hoped, but hey things don't always happen in my time frame. At least I know at the end of the day that I am getting better slowly, but surely. I still remember when the neurologist came into my room and said that there was a high possibility that I would never walk again. When I get down about how slow this seems to be going I still go back to that hospital bed and think, "Wow I have made it this far!" Even if I have a bad day and write about it don't think that I am as upset as it seems. I just need to get those thoughts out so the good one's don't get pushed out.
When you are going through a rough patch and I have had my share I learned from a quote that,"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!" Sometimes it just takes a little time for the good things in life to arrive, but at least I know that they will.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Attractive much?????
I guess since my surgery I haven't really felt attractive and I keep getting told that you are recovering. I'm sorry, but that does not satisfy my vanity. Yes, believe it or not I do have a vain side. I just tend to let it hide out most of the time. This has been a tough shot on my pride too. Well, I have been looking for these pants since I got home, and tonight I found them.(YEAH) I was so excited and I can wear them this weekend and that is one step closer to my happy vain-o-meter. We all tend to feel better when we feel that we are attractive even if it is just in our own eyes.
Onto other news...I know that I haven't talked much about my recovery in awhile, but there are so good news. I am now walking around the house without my walker so I can get my balance back. Well, I have only been doing that at the house, but tonight Mom asked if I wanted to go with her and if I could get to the car without the walker. Well, I did! The main setback that I am still having is m right foot it doesn't want to get back in the game just yet, but it is getting there. Each day forward I have more than the previous. Sometimes it is hard to see the good through all the crap that is there. Like seeing the forest through the trees. Perspectives are always different from the outside looking in than from the inside looking out. I guess what I am saying is that these times may be hard and I wish that it was all grins and giggles, but unfortunately this is my hand that I have been dealt and I'm trying to play it out to the best I can.
I am blessed for all the support that I have in my life, and there are times that I take it for granted when I am having a bad day. Trust me on this I have had more good days than bad. It is that the bad days are easier to detect and get out of now then before when I was in those places. I don't feel as trapped and helpless now as I did. Coming from a mostly independent person to have to rely on someone else for everything was the worst. It is really good that I figured out why I was so unhappy after having such a good time and that was wonderful and a relief. I have a great weekend planned to hang out with some friends and then hopefully go back to work on Monday. I think that will help as well just doing something that is productive. So to everyone have a great day and smile it increases your face value! :D
Onto other news...I know that I haven't talked much about my recovery in awhile, but there are so good news. I am now walking around the house without my walker so I can get my balance back. Well, I have only been doing that at the house, but tonight Mom asked if I wanted to go with her and if I could get to the car without the walker. Well, I did! The main setback that I am still having is m right foot it doesn't want to get back in the game just yet, but it is getting there. Each day forward I have more than the previous. Sometimes it is hard to see the good through all the crap that is there. Like seeing the forest through the trees. Perspectives are always different from the outside looking in than from the inside looking out. I guess what I am saying is that these times may be hard and I wish that it was all grins and giggles, but unfortunately this is my hand that I have been dealt and I'm trying to play it out to the best I can.
I am blessed for all the support that I have in my life, and there are times that I take it for granted when I am having a bad day. Trust me on this I have had more good days than bad. It is that the bad days are easier to detect and get out of now then before when I was in those places. I don't feel as trapped and helpless now as I did. Coming from a mostly independent person to have to rely on someone else for everything was the worst. It is really good that I figured out why I was so unhappy after having such a good time and that was wonderful and a relief. I have a great weekend planned to hang out with some friends and then hopefully go back to work on Monday. I think that will help as well just doing something that is productive. So to everyone have a great day and smile it increases your face value! :D
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Aha
I had plenty of issues trying to figure out why I would have such an emotional shift lately. The reason is that I have to leave before a function is over or that time together is coming to an end. The tears just start to fall once I am on my own. My "Aha" moment came when I was driving home on Saturday when I had been out for almost 12 hours and then being utterly exhausted from the day and on the drive home the tears came. I cocked my head to one side and then let out a muffled laugh. When you have one of the moments and you start to talk to yourself and the rest of the way home I just laughed. Having that moment of clarity has helped greatly because understanding what is going on helps to deal and accept the response. It is so great to know why and not be so dumbfounded about the range of emotions. I enjoy the fact that I know when it happens, I can just let the moment happen then move on and not try to diagnose the problem for the following days.
Onto other subjects. It is great to be able to enjoy myself. To have fun again. I am having times that I can walk without my walker and get used to the balance of my body all over again. How cool is that?! When I am at home I hardly use the walker at all. I can't wait until I am completely better and not having to use any additional equipment to help myself move around.
I am having a great time lately and have been too busy to write, but more is on the way I just needed a break for a little while. I am hopefully going back to work next week so if there is another break I'm sorry I just haven't worked for almost 5 months. Have a great day and enjoy every breath that you take. It is truly a great time to be in a good mood.
Onto other subjects. It is great to be able to enjoy myself. To have fun again. I am having times that I can walk without my walker and get used to the balance of my body all over again. How cool is that?! When I am at home I hardly use the walker at all. I can't wait until I am completely better and not having to use any additional equipment to help myself move around.
I am having a great time lately and have been too busy to write, but more is on the way I just needed a break for a little while. I am hopefully going back to work next week so if there is another break I'm sorry I just haven't worked for almost 5 months. Have a great day and enjoy every breath that you take. It is truly a great time to be in a good mood.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Hmmm..
I got quite a few responses on my last blog entry. I understand that yall care about me and want me to get better, but I'm sorry not every day is a walk in the park. There are very bad days and instead of doing something stupid I write it down. Maybe this is not the best option. For those of you who don't know the exact details of some of my rehabs let me tell you about one.
I was still in my wheelchair and I still needed help going to the bathroom. I had to wait about 20-30 minutes for help and by that time I already started having a bowel movement. So they get me on the toilet but don't get my pants down far enough and the fecal matter is going everywhere. Already crying over embarrassment the humiliation gets worse. When I was finished we got back to the bed and I still needed to be cleaned up further. The surroundings need to be inserted right now. The window of my room was open the shades were not drawn and the privacy curtain between me and my roommate was not drawn either. In the process of cleaning me up they ripped out my catheter. Well, since I am finally cleaned up I lay there spread-eagle with no covers on my lower half (the window still open and curtain is still not drawn) one of the staff opens the door to my room all the way. There were plenty of people going in and out of this hospital and here I am spread-eagle as bare as I was when I came into this world and no way to cover myself up. This was the only time I felt completely helpless, let alone the people who are supposed to protect me didn't and didn't do anything until I started screaming. After my parents got involved the head of quality came by and told me he was sorry and that nursing would be in to do the same. When nursing came in instead of getting an apology I was told that she was new and that I should not get upset for her mistake. I never received an apology from the girl who opened the door. If you think that this is not something to get upset about that's fine, but I will let you borrow my shoes and you can walk a mile. Then I had to get another catheter put in without any anesthesia.
Now, that you know one of my horror stories maybe some of my entries may make more sense. Right now I feel that I can't say anything right and that everything is under a fine tooth comb. It is as if I am back in those homes again reliving this hell all over again. Next blog that I write I will make sure that I filter it so it is all happy and cheerful to make everyone happy. Since we always have to make the appearance that everything is fine and dandy when it is not. These are MY struggles and MY triumphs so that everyone would know that it is OK to have a bad day or to even have a few in a row. It is OK to have emotional breakdowns without a known cause they just happen. If that offends anyone you always have the option to not read this blog. I am sure that I will get a pounding in emails over this, but you are entitled to your own opinion as I am to mine.
By getting all the bad crap out I was feeling better, and I thought that is what mattered. However I guess I still wanted some approval that I was on the right track, well that feeling is gone. This is my journal of my experiences and I am sharing it in hopes to help someone who is going through this or something similar that it is OK to feel what you are feeling. IF I GET A NEGATIVE RESPONSE TO ANYTHING IT WILL BE DELETED! Just so everyone is clear my day is going fan-freaking-tastic!
I was still in my wheelchair and I still needed help going to the bathroom. I had to wait about 20-30 minutes for help and by that time I already started having a bowel movement. So they get me on the toilet but don't get my pants down far enough and the fecal matter is going everywhere. Already crying over embarrassment the humiliation gets worse. When I was finished we got back to the bed and I still needed to be cleaned up further. The surroundings need to be inserted right now. The window of my room was open the shades were not drawn and the privacy curtain between me and my roommate was not drawn either. In the process of cleaning me up they ripped out my catheter. Well, since I am finally cleaned up I lay there spread-eagle with no covers on my lower half (the window still open and curtain is still not drawn) one of the staff opens the door to my room all the way. There were plenty of people going in and out of this hospital and here I am spread-eagle as bare as I was when I came into this world and no way to cover myself up. This was the only time I felt completely helpless, let alone the people who are supposed to protect me didn't and didn't do anything until I started screaming. After my parents got involved the head of quality came by and told me he was sorry and that nursing would be in to do the same. When nursing came in instead of getting an apology I was told that she was new and that I should not get upset for her mistake. I never received an apology from the girl who opened the door. If you think that this is not something to get upset about that's fine, but I will let you borrow my shoes and you can walk a mile. Then I had to get another catheter put in without any anesthesia.
Now, that you know one of my horror stories maybe some of my entries may make more sense. Right now I feel that I can't say anything right and that everything is under a fine tooth comb. It is as if I am back in those homes again reliving this hell all over again. Next blog that I write I will make sure that I filter it so it is all happy and cheerful to make everyone happy. Since we always have to make the appearance that everything is fine and dandy when it is not. These are MY struggles and MY triumphs so that everyone would know that it is OK to have a bad day or to even have a few in a row. It is OK to have emotional breakdowns without a known cause they just happen. If that offends anyone you always have the option to not read this blog. I am sure that I will get a pounding in emails over this, but you are entitled to your own opinion as I am to mine.
By getting all the bad crap out I was feeling better, and I thought that is what mattered. However I guess I still wanted some approval that I was on the right track, well that feeling is gone. This is my journal of my experiences and I am sharing it in hopes to help someone who is going through this or something similar that it is OK to feel what you are feeling. IF I GET A NEGATIVE RESPONSE TO ANYTHING IT WILL BE DELETED! Just so everyone is clear my day is going fan-freaking-tastic!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Character
Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. Abraham Lincoln
Why does it seem that we tend to care more about the reputation then our character? I am guilty of caring too much about how others' will view me then about the status of my character. Why does it seem that only in times of great tragedy that true colors are shown? Is it that we are blind during the daily grind that we can't see people for who they truly are or is it that we don't want to see? I think of myself as a person with strong character, but her lies the catch I want you to reaffirm that to me. I can't just be satisfied with watching my tree grow, I am constantly checking out the shadow.
I have been going through quite a few emotional issues. I can be happy all day long and then five minutes later feeling like crap. It is like all the happiness got sucked out in that split second and I feel like the world is going to end. I don't know why this is happening or how to explain it any better. It is as if everything that I have worked for means nothing and that nobody cares. I want to just crawl into bed and pray that the day is over when it has just begun. Strangely it works the other way too, but that is how it's supposed to be. Right? I guess a lot of it has to do with the fear that my life is passing me by and all I can do is sit on the sidelines and wait for the coach to put me in. But, right now I have to stay on the sidelines because I am not able to play at full capacity. I by no means expected to have the surgery and be just fine the next day and not hurt or have to go through any kind of therapy. I'm just ready for this part of my life to be over and to not have these constant limitations. I guess there is a part of me that wants to go back, but it is not that simple. In this process of rehabilitating myself I am ready for it to be done and over with. To not have these little worries of tripping and falling and being paralyzed for the rest of my life. I feel like I am in the constant cross hairs of black and white with no gray in site. Like it has to be really good or really bad there is no mediocre. If I say that I am OK today to some extent that doesn't seem enough. As the saying goes that we are harder on ourselves then we are on others. It is as if we are not good enough for our own self image so we digress into this feeling of self pity that won't go away. I wish that this would end on a happier note, but unfortunately that is not today.
Why does it seem that we tend to care more about the reputation then our character? I am guilty of caring too much about how others' will view me then about the status of my character. Why does it seem that only in times of great tragedy that true colors are shown? Is it that we are blind during the daily grind that we can't see people for who they truly are or is it that we don't want to see? I think of myself as a person with strong character, but her lies the catch I want you to reaffirm that to me. I can't just be satisfied with watching my tree grow, I am constantly checking out the shadow.
I have been going through quite a few emotional issues. I can be happy all day long and then five minutes later feeling like crap. It is like all the happiness got sucked out in that split second and I feel like the world is going to end. I don't know why this is happening or how to explain it any better. It is as if everything that I have worked for means nothing and that nobody cares. I want to just crawl into bed and pray that the day is over when it has just begun. Strangely it works the other way too, but that is how it's supposed to be. Right? I guess a lot of it has to do with the fear that my life is passing me by and all I can do is sit on the sidelines and wait for the coach to put me in. But, right now I have to stay on the sidelines because I am not able to play at full capacity. I by no means expected to have the surgery and be just fine the next day and not hurt or have to go through any kind of therapy. I'm just ready for this part of my life to be over and to not have these constant limitations. I guess there is a part of me that wants to go back, but it is not that simple. In this process of rehabilitating myself I am ready for it to be done and over with. To not have these little worries of tripping and falling and being paralyzed for the rest of my life. I feel like I am in the constant cross hairs of black and white with no gray in site. Like it has to be really good or really bad there is no mediocre. If I say that I am OK today to some extent that doesn't seem enough. As the saying goes that we are harder on ourselves then we are on others. It is as if we are not good enough for our own self image so we digress into this feeling of self pity that won't go away. I wish that this would end on a happier note, but unfortunately that is not today.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
A normal life...
I know two blogs in one day, but I am making up for lost time. I have been thinking a lot lately about a normal life.
If you are a baseball fan then you will understand this analogy. One of the many heroes of this American pastime is Cal Ripken Jr., he was a great shortstop and a family man. What is less talked about is his younger brother Billy. I feel a kinship to Billy for I am the younger sibling and we have a lot in common. We feel like we live in our older sibling's shadow and can never live up to the hype. I do cherish my sister with all my heart and I'm sure that he loves his brother as well. The reason I bring up this analogy is that like Billy he had spent most of his career on the injury report. If there was a way to get hurt in the sport he did, but his brother on the other hand didn't. I can remember growing up and the only time my sister got hurt and needed stitches was because of me slamming her finger in the door. I promise that it was not intentional it was an accident. The only other time I remember her being in the hospital is when she had my wonderful little guy(my nephew). Now me on the other hand, whenever we moved we had to find the nearest hospital because I would be visiting the ER some time during our stay in whatever city it was. I have had more injuries, illnesses and surgeries than my mom and sister combined. I would say my dad, but he is coming up on 60 years and hello he's a boy.(My poor grandma had her hands full) So my kinship to Billy begins. It is hard to live in a brother/sister's shadow even if it is in your own eyes. I would like to say that my life is just more exciting, but unfortunately that is not the case. Mine is just not exciting. The injuries and illnesses aren't anywhere near a fun time.
Off on another tangent since I was talking about baseball and two of my personal heroes. When it was for the love of the game and not how many millions is my contract worth. When you could actually go to a game as a family and not break the bank on $10 hot dogs and a $20 beer. Where you actually had fun with your parents cheering your team at the bottom of the ninth, winning run on second and no outs. Where players actually wanted to wait and sign autographs because they new that their fans were the most important part of their career.
The main reason I bring up baseball is that I am in a sports mood since the Olympics just ended. It was some of the greatest acts of sportsmanship that I have seen since the glory days of American sports. (which I got to watch the highlights since most was before my time)(sad isn't it) It is easy to become jaded in this era, but we got to see a swimmer become the greatest Olympian of all time, a 40+ year old woman gain two silver medals in her 5th Olympics, and two teams of pro basketball players shred their contract team colors, where foes became friends and put on the uniform that said USA and take GOLD. I was lucky to watch the games and even have more reasons to be proud of my country and that we have athletes that do what they do for the LOVE of the sport and not how much money they will make. Being a swimmer myself and wishing I had the talent that these swimmers do, but I do love to watch. All the American swimmers put on a great show. I know much is focused on the main man Phelps, but even as he puts it he didn't do it alone. In no way am I saying what he accomplished isn't amazing, but he wasn't the only American playing in the games. When he won his eighth gold medal I was cheering just as loud as many others. I loved watching the games and the pride these athletes took in promoting their country. One of the greatest parts of the games is when Dara Torres had the heat delayed because the swimmer in the next lane's suit ripped. I was amazed! Then last night I was able to watch the US basketball game for gold(men's). I hadn't been a big fan since it is the same as major league baseball is. It is all about the money not the game. However, during this game these players proved that they are worthy of wearing that gold medal around their necks' and wear the jersey that had USA printed on the front. Even though they play for different teams back in the states they played with egos and salaries aside with the bottom line being that their team the "Redeem Team" was destined for gold. These games have been a pleasure to watch and to all the Americans that were able to participate congrats and thank you, you made many Americans proud.
If you are a baseball fan then you will understand this analogy. One of the many heroes of this American pastime is Cal Ripken Jr., he was a great shortstop and a family man. What is less talked about is his younger brother Billy. I feel a kinship to Billy for I am the younger sibling and we have a lot in common. We feel like we live in our older sibling's shadow and can never live up to the hype. I do cherish my sister with all my heart and I'm sure that he loves his brother as well. The reason I bring up this analogy is that like Billy he had spent most of his career on the injury report. If there was a way to get hurt in the sport he did, but his brother on the other hand didn't. I can remember growing up and the only time my sister got hurt and needed stitches was because of me slamming her finger in the door. I promise that it was not intentional it was an accident. The only other time I remember her being in the hospital is when she had my wonderful little guy(my nephew). Now me on the other hand, whenever we moved we had to find the nearest hospital because I would be visiting the ER some time during our stay in whatever city it was. I have had more injuries, illnesses and surgeries than my mom and sister combined. I would say my dad, but he is coming up on 60 years and hello he's a boy.(My poor grandma had her hands full) So my kinship to Billy begins. It is hard to live in a brother/sister's shadow even if it is in your own eyes. I would like to say that my life is just more exciting, but unfortunately that is not the case. Mine is just not exciting. The injuries and illnesses aren't anywhere near a fun time.
Off on another tangent since I was talking about baseball and two of my personal heroes. When it was for the love of the game and not how many millions is my contract worth. When you could actually go to a game as a family and not break the bank on $10 hot dogs and a $20 beer. Where you actually had fun with your parents cheering your team at the bottom of the ninth, winning run on second and no outs. Where players actually wanted to wait and sign autographs because they new that their fans were the most important part of their career.
The main reason I bring up baseball is that I am in a sports mood since the Olympics just ended. It was some of the greatest acts of sportsmanship that I have seen since the glory days of American sports. (which I got to watch the highlights since most was before my time)(sad isn't it) It is easy to become jaded in this era, but we got to see a swimmer become the greatest Olympian of all time, a 40+ year old woman gain two silver medals in her 5th Olympics, and two teams of pro basketball players shred their contract team colors, where foes became friends and put on the uniform that said USA and take GOLD. I was lucky to watch the games and even have more reasons to be proud of my country and that we have athletes that do what they do for the LOVE of the sport and not how much money they will make. Being a swimmer myself and wishing I had the talent that these swimmers do, but I do love to watch. All the American swimmers put on a great show. I know much is focused on the main man Phelps, but even as he puts it he didn't do it alone. In no way am I saying what he accomplished isn't amazing, but he wasn't the only American playing in the games. When he won his eighth gold medal I was cheering just as loud as many others. I loved watching the games and the pride these athletes took in promoting their country. One of the greatest parts of the games is when Dara Torres had the heat delayed because the swimmer in the next lane's suit ripped. I was amazed! Then last night I was able to watch the US basketball game for gold(men's). I hadn't been a big fan since it is the same as major league baseball is. It is all about the money not the game. However, during this game these players proved that they are worthy of wearing that gold medal around their necks' and wear the jersey that had USA printed on the front. Even though they play for different teams back in the states they played with egos and salaries aside with the bottom line being that their team the "Redeem Team" was destined for gold. These games have been a pleasure to watch and to all the Americans that were able to participate congrats and thank you, you made many Americans proud.
A fun day.....
Yesterday was one of the best days that I have had in a long time. One of my best friends came back from vacation and we spent the day together. First we had lunch and surprisingly we both ate salads. Then we went to Old Navy and they had all jeans on sale for 12 dollars. Score I got two pairs. Then we stopped at Starbucks and ran into some other friends. Hit a meeting then went back to her house and got ready to go hang out at a hookah bar. It was such a great time. We got to hang out with a huge group of our friends and laugh the night away.
I am so blessed that I have such good friends. Stacy has been so beneficial in my life. She has been there for me in my tough times and there for the good as well. Our friendship started about four years ago when we worked together. We would hang out every now and again after work, but it wasn't until we started having the same schedule that we hung out all the time. I got sick and she made me a card and brought it to the hospital that I was at and stayed for awhile. She has such strength that it is contagious. I truly love her like a sister. I will always consider her one of the greatest people in my life.
Here are some pictures of us yesterday:
No matter what we are doing we always have a blast even if it is just sitting down having a cup of coffee.
If you don't have a good friend I definitely recommend getting one because they help to bring out the best sides of you.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Better day
I guess the key to a better day is to keep yourself busy. I had a full day today and thankfully it kept my mind occupied. I am quite a bit happier today then yesterday. All I did today was chores. Who knew cleaning could be this refreshing.
Why do we minimize situations or tragedies? Is it so that we don't have to deal with the reality of the situation or do we just want it to go away quicker. If there is a lesser offense it seems to go bye-bye faster than something with more baggage. We also tend humoring it to make it seem less harsh. I guess with all the crap that goes on we would rather shrug something off and get back to work.(so to speak) Why deal with something that hurts when you can just simplify it and shrug it off. It is like the scales of justice and trying to keep the balance. I guess it has always seemed less challenging to take the easy road then to take the hard.
Humor is how I tend to deal with many things that come my way. Don't get me wrong I do have sympathy and empathy, but it is easier to laugh then to cry. There are times when it is the right time to cry, but with everything I think that is over doing it. Me personally I would rather laugh than cry. I do have my days where a good cry is just what the doctor ordered, but on others' laughter is the best medicine.
Since I have therapy in the morning I guess this is it for today.
Why do we minimize situations or tragedies? Is it so that we don't have to deal with the reality of the situation or do we just want it to go away quicker. If there is a lesser offense it seems to go bye-bye faster than something with more baggage. We also tend humoring it to make it seem less harsh. I guess with all the crap that goes on we would rather shrug something off and get back to work.(so to speak) Why deal with something that hurts when you can just simplify it and shrug it off. It is like the scales of justice and trying to keep the balance. I guess it has always seemed less challenging to take the easy road then to take the hard.
Humor is how I tend to deal with many things that come my way. Don't get me wrong I do have sympathy and empathy, but it is easier to laugh then to cry. There are times when it is the right time to cry, but with everything I think that is over doing it. Me personally I would rather laugh than cry. I do have my days where a good cry is just what the doctor ordered, but on others' laughter is the best medicine.
Since I have therapy in the morning I guess this is it for today.
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