Grateful and frustrated

Can you be grateful and frustrated at the same time? This is my major question right now. If I get frustrated about a situation that doesn't always mean I am not grateful. I am extremely blessed with the benefits that I have, but sometimes the process is a bit tiresome. I am not complaining by any means it is just there is only so much one person can handle before they just need a break. Let alone my brain is still making its way back to what it used to be. I still have some slow moments. My mind was on vacation for a couple months with the only thing on my mind was getting some ice chips and jello. I didn't really have to worry about anything at that time and now it is a flood of paperwork. I can't just go to a peaceful place and pray or meditate just to help get my thoughts in order. I did get the ok to drive however I still have to take a few practice runs before I enjoy the open road. Thank God I have insurance and great insurance at that. The amount that I will have to spend out of pocket is not even close to how much my surgery and after care was.

What I can say it that my mom is the greatest woman that I know. At times where I thought that all hope was lost she sat next to the bed and held my hand. Some people have said that that is what mom's are supposed to do. I disagree. She came to every place that I was at everyday without any hesitation. She drove 3 hours both ways after working an 8+ hour shift just to sit by my side. We were very lucky that my grandma was able to visit because she was able to help my mom so that she did not have a nervous breakdown. Plus all the family support helped with the stress that my mom and I were both going thru. Her more than me because I was in lala land for most of the time. My mom is my hero, strength and my angel. She didn't have to do all the things that she did, but because she loved me she did. There is nothing on this world that I can do to repay that. I wish there was, but for now all I can do is say "I love you" and give her all the help that I can.

Going thru this ordeal has done wonders for me. My friend asked me on Saturday that if I new that this was the outcome would I still have the surgery. Without hesitation I said yes because it has truly changed my life. Great reward does not come without great sacrifice. I look back at it now and I am not upset over anything that has happened I am grateful. I know that I have said this before, but I am so happy that I have no back pain after 5 years of it constantly. I would rather have to work on getting my legs to function again then to have another day of back pain.
The wonderful things that I have today is great relationships with my family ( I can see both sides now don't know how it happened but hey I'm going to go with it). My advice today is to take at least 5 minutes to relax and enjoy what you have.