The Fallout

No good deed goes unpunished...that is the phrase right. How about 2 steps forward and one step back. Both seem to fit right now. Here I am so excited that I went up 3 flights of stairs and down walking to the car. I thought that I was on a roll. The fall out begins. I woke up this morning and my right leg and ankle were hurting so bad I could hardly sleep. I get to therapy and tell my therapist that my arch is hurting and she said that if you do too much then that can happen. The saga continues. After 5+ years of constant back pain and now 2 1/2 months without it there has got to be a catch right. One of my favorite movies has that line over and over. "Always a catch!" So I'm still in the process of getting my legs to balance the rest of me and now I have another set back. I really think that it is funny. If it sounds like I'm complaining trust me I'm not I actually am trying to hold back laughter. I felt that I was on such a high that I could do all that on Thursday I didn't stop to think that I could have repercussions from everything that I did. No not me, I'm getting stronger. Gotta love that kind of thinking. I'm getting ahead of myself thinking that I can walk unassisted and that this is all some crazy dream. Unfortunately it is not, but there are days that I am scared to go to sleep because I will wake up back in the hospital and have to go thru this all over again. At this point I would rather do just enough to be at the bar than to be above and face the hardships afterward. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that I'm just going to be lazing around. I guess what I am trying to say is that I would rather walk ten feet and be tired than to run a marathon and think that I will die from exhaustion in 5 minutes.

Lone behold onto other things. Can't talk about that too much because it is kind of depressing. It is always yucky to have the drastic realization that you are just a mere mortal. That is where my next subject comes into play. I'm not a religious person by any means, however I do have faith. I won't go into my beliefs due to the fact that they are no ones business, but my own and my God. I don't care what you believe just as long as you can hopefully grasp the concept of something greater than yourself. The reason I brought up this topic is I have prayed for the past years to feel better and for some doctor to find out what is wrong and why I am in so much pain. God works in mysterious ways(I call him God just because it is easier and more can understand). I have faith that there is a plan for my life and that I am not privy to that information. At times I do think that it is not fair, but think about it if you had the option to know the future would you really want to. Now I am ok to say that what has happened is ok and that I am glad I went thru it. It was a great test in emotions, gratuity, and humility. Let alone how strong my family is and how much strength that I possess. Not saying that I would recommend this to everyone however if you are having a bad day take a look around you there are blessings everywhere. If you can't see them ask someone to help because there is always someone who would be grateful for what you have. There maybe people that have more than you, but there is always someone with less. Today may have sucked, but at least I was able to take a shot at it and get a chance to look forward to tomorrow.